Time of Transition

     I always knew that transitioning from Nicaragua back to Canada was going to be a hard one. In fact the night before I left I was laying on my bed and I kept thinking, "It would be a whole lot easier if I just stayed." So, I'm not going to try to hide what I already knew before I left Nicaragua: the transition is tough, change is always a little stressful for me.

    This blog post was inspired by my 2 year old niece Anna. Anna lives really close to my parents house in Ontario which means that I saw her a lot this summer and we did a lot together. Let me give you an example, one day I sat down beside Anna and told her that I was going to go away for a night and I wouldn't see her for 2 days. She looked me in the eye and had a very serious expression on her face and while shaking her head said, "Noooo". Anna reminded me that it's okay to express sadness when saying goodbye or farewell to something you had.

Anna helping me clean cupboards

       Since I left Ontario, Anna has been expressing the absence of her aunt. I feel like her actions express what our feelings as adults are when we say farewell to someone except we tend to hide our feelings a little better or express them in different ways. Let me match up some of her actions with my feelings:

      1. One night after I left, Sara was putting Anna to bed and she kept saying "Aunt Aimee, Aunt Aimee". Sara suggested they pray for Aunt Aimee which they did. When saying farewell to one place and transiting to another I do think it is important to be able to talk about it. Many people have asked me how I'm doing and I usually say "okay". A few people have sat down with me over coffee or gone for a walk with me and have really asked me. I've appreciated those listening ears. Like Anna so many people in Nicaragua are in my thoughts and prayers. 

      2. One morning while outside Anna saw an airplane flying overhead and Sara said, "That's what Aunt Aimee went in." Anna started running in the field after the plane saying "Aunt Aimee, Aunt Aimee". Oh I can soo relate to this feeling. The feeling of wanting to be back at the place you left; of wanting just one more glimpse. The feeling that the place is so far away; you want it but you just can't have it. 

      3. Anna saw William talking on the phone one morning and was sure that he was talking to Aunt Aimee (which he was not). She was then sure that she wanted to talk with Aunt Aimee too. We did, on Skype. I have been able to talk and communicate with people in Nicaragua. It has been great, but so much is missing from the communication because I'm just not involved in their lives or in Nicaragua the way I use to be. Again you get the feeling of closeness but at the same time it feels like they are sooo far away.

      4. Anna saw someone riding a bike like mine and again said "Aimee, Aimee". As you can see it is one word she has perfected. Certain things do remind us of what we have left behind. When I see them it makes we smile. For me that was having dinner at a Mexican restaurant with two friends, Robin and Jessie. 

At the Mexican restaurant with Jessie (in photo) and Robin (photographer): real mango juice!!

        Perhaps if you haven't moved or made a big transition in your life you won't relate to these thoughts. But I'm pretty sure these feelings will ring true in the lives of those who have. The other night on the phone my dad told me that you can make anywhere home if you stay there long enough. I think that is true. I like to think that I take a little bit of my homes with me where ever I go. Last weekend I was in Houston, BC and someone said to me, "How long will you be home?" This made me smile.